I am moving on. The thief is no longer cursed with every breath and the bike is doing its job. So I am moving on. I can’t write here any more because if I do I am locking myself into a story that is simply about recovering from the past. It’s not about the future.
I am moving on. This doesn’t mean that the past is forgotten, or that Nicky is replaced. On the contrary the happier I become the easier it is for me to see beyond the fact and manner of her death and celebrate the wonderfulness of the years we had together. It’s a fact, the happier I am the happier my memories become, the more grateful I am to have known and loved Nicky. This is good.
The girls are moving on. There are occasional night time wobbles still. There’s no getting away from it, they have lost their Mum. That is that. But gradually I begin to understand what Mum is. Whilst Mum is gone it doesn’t mean that there in’t any Mumishness, or Mumliness around us. There’s lots of it. The girls are lucky that their Mum did have such good friends who have been and are still gentle, wise and kind, and that their Dad has found a girlfriend who likes to shop, go to hair dressers, and paint toe nails….that is, by the way, doing Rona a great disservice. These are qualities that matter though.
I am moving on. We are moving on. This is the end of a chapter. There is a new one starting here: www.leveloetlevol.co.uk please join me there.